| Jasmine | ||||||||||||||||||||
| The Basics | Hey! I'm Jasmine. I'm 17 and currently a freshman at Marymount University in Arlington, VA. I graduated from the Institute of Notre Dame in Baltimore, MD. I'm a full-time student, friend, and surviver. I can not afford a job, y, because I put school and extra-curricular activities first. I haven't been lucky in love, but maybe u can change that. I'm 5'4 with shoulder-length dark brown hair and intoxicating dark brown eyes. I enjoy basketball, swimming, reading, music, writing, and hanging with my friends. I spend a lot of time online, trying to find "him." I love meeting new people, I'd love to meet u. I like all types of music, but I'll not partial to country and go-go. One pop star I can not stand is Brittany Spears. I don't know if ur a fan , but I chose to stray away from conversation about her, unless they're bashing her which is a ok. I love going to the movie, beside the fact that when I go I tend to freeze. My faves include comedies, mystery, romance, and of course any good horror flick. As u see, I'm not like many girls, at least not the ones I know. My fave movies include Half-Baked, Romeo & Juliet (1996), and Interveiw with a Vampire. I'm a big kid and I love cartoons. I get up on saturdays to watch them. I'm lots of fun, e-mail me to find out how much. | |||||||||||||||||||
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1.) A woman dies and goes to heaven. She is horrified to see another woman screaming in pain as St. Peter drills holes into her shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo. "Screw You!" she tells St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place." "You don't want to go there," he replies. "They'll rape and sodomize you down there." "I don't care" she answers. "At least I already have the holes for that!" 2.) Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. "What happened?" asked the President. "Well," the driver replied "the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked the President. The driver replied: "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig." | My Fave Jokes | |||||||||||||||||||
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3.) A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a good looking girl and starts looking at his watch. The girl notices this and asks him if his date is late. "Oh, no!" he replies, "I've just got this new state-of-the-art watch, and I was just about to test it." " "What does it do?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me." "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." "Ha! Well it must be broken then because I am!" "Damn! This thing must be an hour fast." 4.) A sweet young thing thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him when was the last time he had had sex. "1956," he immediately replied. "No wonder you look so uptight!" she exclaimed. "Honey, you need to get out more." "I'm not sure I understand you," he answered, glancing at his watch again. "It's only 2014 now." | |||||||||||||||||||
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